Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
