people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize