Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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