Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
