I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
