And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
