My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
