I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
