So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
