The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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