Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
