me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
