i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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