So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
