No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
