i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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