So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
