I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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