Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
