Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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