I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You ruined the universe
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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