And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
