did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
should my penis look like a turkey
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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