i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
