North Korea, Best Korea!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
