I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
