if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
