i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
