Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize