My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
