Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize