No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
