If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
