The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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