We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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