you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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