so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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