Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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