They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
