I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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