the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize