I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
