he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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