And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
