So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
