We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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