whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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