babies were throwing up all over the place
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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