i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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