I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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