I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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