You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize