apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
