we have officially lost it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
