thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
