Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
