apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
