So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
please come you make the beer taste better
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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