Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i think i have two assholes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He better not be in your backpack
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
