for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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