Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The best revenge is premature balding
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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