38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
