As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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