i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
