i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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