you traded sex for a burrito?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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