I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize