i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can't put those talents on a resume
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
