A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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