Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
