Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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