and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
