I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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