so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
