my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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