you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
did you just send me my own nude
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
